G.B.I.N.

BREAKING: Suspicious pretzel vendor spotted near Darmstadt Hauptbahnhof — investigation ongoing EAU CLAIRE: All cheese curd reserves accounted for following routine Friday audit ALSBACH-HÄHNLEIN: Vineyard sector reports all-clear — grapes remain unplundered MINNEAPOLIS: Skyway surveillance confirms zero bandit activity in sector 7G — Caribou Coffee lines nominal TWINING DEEP FIELD: Population 130 — all 130 accounted for. Zero are bandits. Probably. KATOWICE: Spodek Arena scanned for bandits — none found inside the UFO. Pierogi supply chain intact. ADVISORY: Fanny pack tactical readiness inspection scheduled for 0800 tomorrow across all sectors KATOWICE: IEM esports tournament crowds provide excellent cover — bandit detection nearly impossible EAU CLAIRE: Menards parking lot — 14 vehicles left running with keys — zero stolen (ongoing) MPLS: Someone said "ope" 47 times in the skyway today — all verified as non-hostile TWINING: Deer spotted on Main Street. Not a bandit. Repeat: the deer is NOT a bandit. KATOWICE: Suspicious figure near Nikiszowiec turned out to be street artist. Coal soap levels normal. BREAKING: Suspicious pretzel vendor spotted near Darmstadt Hauptbahnhof — investigation ongoing EAU CLAIRE: All cheese curd reserves accounted for following routine Friday audit ALSBACH-HÄHNLEIN: Vineyard sector reports all-clear — grapes remain unplundered MINNEAPOLIS: Skyway surveillance confirms zero bandit activity in sector 7G — Caribou Coffee lines nominal TWINING DEEP FIELD: Population 130 — all 130 accounted for. Zero are bandits. Probably. KATOWICE: Spodek Arena scanned for bandits — none found inside the UFO. Pierogi supply chain intact. ADVISORY: Fanny pack tactical readiness inspection scheduled for 0800 tomorrow across all sectors KATOWICE: IEM esports tournament crowds provide excellent cover — bandit detection nearly impossible EAU CLAIRE: Menards parking lot — 14 vehicles left running with keys — zero stolen (ongoing) MPLS: Someone said "ope" 47 times in the skyway today — all verified as non-hostile TWINING: Deer spotted on Main Street. Not a bandit. Repeat: the deer is NOT a bandit. KATOWICE: Suspicious figure near Nikiszowiec turned out to be street artist. Coal soap levels normal.